Any time you step out, get big ideas, or get mad enough to speak up, you can be assured someone will try to turn your attention back to where you “should” be.
The most common response I get these days is, “Your tone is not respectful enough.” Which, I find extremely odd. I didn’t say, “Oh please sir, may I have a moment of your very valuable time.” I did say, roughly, ‘Here’s some important information. How can you ignore this?’
Given the audience though, I suppose it’s not unexpected, so maybe odd is the wrong word. What these statements regarding my “tone” are however, is founded on a list of beliefs that are really quite problematic.
Your tone is not respectful enough, because you should respect me.
Really? Why? Is it because you are doing a good job? I’m not seeing that you are doing a good job. Is it because you’re rich? Don’t care. Is it because everyone else bows and scrapes to you? Well, I don’t do things just because everyone else is doing it. I can hear my mother saying, “Ya gonna jump off a bridge just because so and so does?” I can and do think for myself. I believe our world be a whole lot better off of everyone did.
Your tone is not respectful enough, because I don’t respect you.
Well now, there’s truth of it, huh? I’m not rich. I’m not properly adorned in the latest fashionable frock, hairstyle, and manipedi. Le gasp, I’d rather sit on the couch and read Dr. Suess, the Bible and Aristotle with my kids than watch some video telling how to think or who to respect. I do not fit in your box. If that means you don’t respect me, okay. No biggie. If I have to fit into your box in order to earn your respect, then piss off.
Your tone is not respectful enough because only extreme politeness gets things done.
Well now, that’s just a lie. I’ve spent many a decade being extremely respectful, pleasant, and kind to everyone. Except for the very few people I call friends, all it’s ever gotten me is frustration and a whole lot of nothing. It comes down, again, to respect. If you don’t respect me, it won’t matter what my tone is.
Your tone is not respectful enough, because your ideas are great, and if I can squeeze you back into your box, I can take them for my own.
Your tone is not respectful enough because you are supposed to live in fear.
Why? Because you said so? Because someone on TV said so? How about because I’m not supposed to be able to think for myself. Thinking outside the proverbial box, why that’s only for some people. Only for the approved thinkers… which isn’t box like at all. 👀👀👀
Here’s your box girl. You can do good work, but only what we allow. Watch the children in the corner. Clean up after the men. Make sandwiches, yes, that’s an approved activity. You’re just support staff.
I have absolutely no issue with just being support staff, but I will choose whom I support. I will choose when and how I offer support. Why? As an adult, respect is EARNED. It can be offered out of kindness initially, but if it isn’t returned or placed well, then it can be quickly taken back.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Join a club of disrespectful small town high school football hero’s and prom queens that haven’t realized this isn’t high school? Don’t expect to be instantly recognized as outside of the box you put yourself in.