It’s been awhile since I have written. I’ve been busy, but I’ve also been rather unmotivated. What’s the point?

I feel like a prehistoric kelenken in a flock of ostriches. We look alike, but we are very different. I can see the danger we all face. Your choices have my spidy senses tingling. Our world is full of bright neon signs heralding the cautionary phrase, “Turn back!” Yet all around me, no one gets it. No one cares. Y’all stuck your heads in the sand. Ignorance is bliss after all.

It’s not only social media that has shadow banned my account. It’s you, my neighbors and friends. You are shadow banning my life. If you just ignore the crazy mom who won’t abandon God you can keep pretending that you aren’t ruled by fear.

The demon of fear is everywhere these days. It’s in the dental assistant wearing two masks and a face shield gracing my teeth with the shortest, worst clean and polish ever, so that she doesn’t spend 15 minutes in my presence and end up randomly contact traced right out of a job. (Or perhaps she is angry over my statement that masks do not stop viruses.) It’s in the gate keeper who won’t allow me to see the doctor for my compressed spinal cord until she points a miniature white gun at my head, insisting that a temperature can only be taken from the forehead. It’s in my former mentor and friend telling my child that wearing a mask is respectful. That my child should mask up like everyone else, even though he has asthma. How dare he prefer breathing well! Hey, kids are resilient. He’ll get used to ignoring his own needs to make you feel better about your fear. That’s good, right? What could be wrong with that?

You have chosen fear. You have chosen censorship. You have chosen ignorance. You chose it all instead of God, instead of knowledge, instead of freedom and friendship and family. You chose fear and this cult of false virtue instead of protecting children. So I have been frustrated, depressed, feeling betrayed and simply at a loss.

How could you? How could you all chose to put yourself first? Well I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, we are the abortion culture after all. Who cares if another child is abused? Who cares if daycares and public school do not accurately replace a mother’s love? Ignorance is easier.

Yes, I know too much, too far. How dare I? I’m always too much.

So where do I go from here?

I suppose, I need to remember that this land is not my home. I need to keep my eyes fixed on Christ. I need to scrape up a new batch of courage and stay on the path of Truth.

“¹⁴ For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our everlasting home in heaven.

¹⁵ With Jesus’ help we will continually offer our sacrifice of praise to God by telling others of the glory of his name.”

-Hebrews 13:14-15

So I shall sally forth once again. Into the breach. Damn the torpedos. Full steam ahead. Yippie Kiyay. Not to reason why, but to do and die.

“[I] go. In the cold dark night before the battle, when the steely fangs of evil are sharpened and poised to strike, [I] go and face the challenge… When [my fellow man is willingly] in trouble, [I] go! Whether they ask or not, [I] go! Even knowing how deep the shrapnel’s going to pierce, [I] go! – Rhino, the hampster, Bolt the movie

So pardon me for my despondent break, I will endeavor to just keep swimming against the tide. God is by myside.